D-MER

There’s nothing I can say about Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex that will top this scientific article so I’ll just go ahead and direct quote it.

“Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER) is an abrupt emotional "drop" that occurs in some women just before milk release and continues for not more than a few minutes. The brief negative feelings range in severity from wistfulness to self-loathing, and appear to have a physiological cause. The authors suggest that an abrupt drop in dopamine may occur when milk release is triggered, resulting in a real or relative brief dopamine deficit for affected women. Clinicians can support women with D-MER in several ways; often, simply knowing that it is a recognized phenomenon makes the condition tolerable.

Because successful milk feeding is vital to mammalian newborn survival, it is essential that the mother be drawn to provide it, and that it feel both comfortable and desirable when milk flows efficiently and effectively. Oxytocin, which is central to milk release, is described by Uvnäs Moberg as a hormone of calm and connection.

However, there is a subset of human mothers for whom every breastfeeding session includes periods of negative feelings. Named "Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex" or "D-MER" by Heise, co-author, it is a breastfeeding problem for which affected mothers seem only rarely to seek or receive help.

Since D-MER is only recently recognized, literature is limited and direct research is non-existent.”

I really wanted to include this topic here because many people do not know this is a condition and new parenthood is tricky enough without feeling isolated and shamed. Like with many struggles in parenthood and otherwise, sometimes just being listened to and validated goes a long way.