Hi. Bonjour. Selamat Datang. Olá.

This is a tricky section for me and I considered not including it here. Talking about myself is hard because as a person-of-color who is trying to exist in a predominantly western (read: white) space, I struggle with imposter syndrome. The next part is going to get a little vulnerable.

My pregnancy and first year post-partum were intense and partially due to pandemic-living, and partially due to my own anxieties, my mental health continued to spiral. I often felt uncomfortable around my midwives and doctors as it felt intimidating being a relatively young person, who isn’t white, going to every appointment alone and often feeling dismissed or made to feel overly-anxious or silly. I had a strong feeling that had at least one person on my team also been of similar background and lived-experience as I, I may have felt more at ease. Thankfully, I did find the sole POC doula in the city at the time and it helped me tremendously to have her on-board. But post-partum, it happened again.

All the folks who were available to support my family were white and I felt like there was a missing cultural connection in the guidance they were able to offer. Moreover, most representation on social media on parenthood (especially around breastfeeding) is largely white folks. It’s hard to thoroughly put into words, but being unable to see myself in any of the represented experiences was detrimental. In addition, most of the popular information on parenting didn’t align with my values and seemed to lack cultural sensitivity. In an era where we value being different and praising individuality, somehow when it comes to parenting it seemed like babies and their parents are meant to fit neatly into very specific boxes.

It took a lot of time, therapy, and truly digging deep to recover from that first year. There were moments where I wasn’t sure about anything, including whether I deserved to experience motherhood. I know now that some of what I experienced and struggled with during that time was normal but I also know that some of my thoughts were major red flags that maybe could’ve been prevented if I’d had access and resources that resonated with, and made me feel safe.

So, I guess you could say, I am and the reason I decided to get into this work. If I could go back in time, the services and supports I offer is what I needed to find. I may not be able to change how my journey into parenthood began, but more than anything, I hope I am able to be a comfort and resource to you and your family as you pave your own path in this intense, magical, all-consuming season of life.

“Unconditional”

Too often, we feel the need to put ourselves into boxes to fit-in. It is a common, understandable pressure that we put on ourselves because it is what our parents, our community, our partners, or workplace, expects of us. We do it to ourselves all the time, too: I have to be productive today, or I have to eat the right foods, or I have to complete this task to perfection before I allow myself rest and care. Many of us have accepted this societal programming that it is second nature in the way we talk and treat ourselves… but our kids don’t deserve that.

They deserve to be cherished for exactly who they are. As Gordon Neufeld says, young children are naturally uncivilized and as parents and caregivers, we are quick to feel frustrated and react in punishment to their very innate way of being and growing. When we push our children into conforming to societal expectations, especially as very little ones, we rob them of developing their true selves.

I strongly believe and advocate for respectful parenting. Once embraced, parents and children thrive with this approach as it allows for children to be wholly themselves while parents take the role of the guide who creates and holds boundaries. In our work together, families can expect to learn how to get curious about the perfectly ordinary and natural parts of childhood, and how to meet their littles where they are and nurture them in a way that benefits everyone.

Intrigued? Skeptical? Want to learn more? Contact me to schedule a 15-minute discovery call.

Credentials

It’s always nice to know the educational background is when you seek support, so here are mine:

  • Baby-Led Sleep and Well-being Specialist from Isla-Grace

  • IBCLC in-training from Douglas College

  • Ongoing student at the Neufeld Institute

  • Peaceful Parenting course [and currently in training with the Peaceful Parenting Institute as a Certified Instructor]